The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for memek caterwauling) porn to the receptionist the next morning, bokep she rolled her eyes and crot declared bokeh the woman an ‘actrice’, crot or bokeh sex worker.

Now, crot according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokep it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and bokeh all men dread – the louder the memek cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, crot you can’t measure bokep passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, porn and bokep sex as genuine intimacy. And memek when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and memek is not fearing porn for crot a fragile male ego, crot she’s far more likely to gently sigh and crot moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In my days porn editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, bokeh they’d explain, crot so they could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy for bokeh other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about manners and memek ‘manipulation’, bokeh and bokeh that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, bokep so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: memek ‘I’m enjoying this, crot but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, bokeh where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland porn said in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out bokep their TVs: crot ‘As far as I’m concerned, porn that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, memek only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, porn Christopher Ryan and bokep Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason women were noisy during sex – based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and memek keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, bokeh I can understand bokep the need to advertise. But if you’re not, memek then men should take heed: crot the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris