The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve long been haunted by the memory of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I was kept awake all night by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokep caterwauling) to the receptionist the next morning, bokep she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokeh or porn sex worker.

Now, memek according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokep it all makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and crot all men dread – the louder the cry of bokep ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked. In other words, crot you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: bokeh there’s sex as performance art, crot and bokeh sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a woman is genuinely aroused, bokep trusts porn her partner and bokep is not fearing for crot a fragile male ego, porn memek she’s far more likely to gently sigh and memek moan than shriek like the rabid super-vixen crot in my Parisian hotel.

In my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, crot female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on bokep an occasional basis, crot they’d explain, bokep so they could make their partner feel happy, bokeh while conserving their energy for bokep other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They crot declared that erotic decibels memek memek were all about manners and porn ‘manipulation’, memek bokep and bokep that women were prone to what they described as ‘copulatory vocalisation’ bokeh in order to encourage their partners over the crot finishing line, bokeh so to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry crot of ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

memek It was crot like saying: bokeh ‘I’m enjoying this, bokep but can you get a bloomin’ move on.’ Sound familiar, memek ladies?

The only other reason porn to screech like a demented hyena is if your sex education comes from porn, memek where loud always equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland crot said memek in 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: crot ‘As far as I’m concerned, memek that’s what you should be doing.’

Well, crot only if you want to attract a certain kind of attention.

In their book, bokeh Sex At Dawn, bokeh Christopher Ryan and memek Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely bokep reason women were noisy during sex – bokep based on observation of our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males that they were fertile and memek keen to crot copulate.

If you’re a sex worker, porn I can understand crot the need to advertise. But if you’re not, bokeh then men should take heed: porn the best sex may just be the quietest.

Paris